My friend Darren Neuberger, a cancer survivor and now Revenue Development Coordinator with the Canadian Cancer Society.  He has made it his life's mission to help other's fight the desease, and has been flown to various cities throughout North America as an inspirational speaker, AND IS AMOUNG THE BEST AT IT IN THE WORLD!

I replied to one of his e-mails that I've decided to make this week's blog.  Darren was okay with that, and sent me a picture of him with his wife Jaylene.  Follwing their photo is the e-mail and my point on profanity.

Hi Darren,

I loved the blog!  I have a lot of respect for you.  You're a good guy, you have a LOT of great things to say, both on the spur of the moment in conversation, and apparently also in writing!  I'd like to make some observations on your blog and give you my opinion on using swear words when you write.

I know that you mentioned in your e-mail that the blog is "filled with a lot of profanity" and that you "won't apologize for that."  The profanity in your writing doesn't bother me and I will continue to read what you write, BUT (and this is a BIG one) you are cutting out a LOT of people who DO CARE and ARE OFFENDED by what they would consider "inappropriate language", and I'm sure many of these people WOULD BENEFIT FROM YOUR VIEWS AND COMMENTS! 

From working in broadcasting for over 10 years, I've learned to be as a INCLUSIVE AS POSSIBLE with everything I do.  I''ve always avoided anything that would be considered an inside joke even. I have always made an effort to be polite and welcoming to those I don't know, who may be taking in the broadcast.  Excluding people or turning them away because of something they might find offensive, IS NOT GOOD FOR RATINGS!

A good friend of mine Chris Scheetz, WHO IS A CREATIVE WIZARD, AND HE IS THE MOST LOVED BY HIS AUDIENCE RADIO BROADCASTER THAT I KNOW OF IN THE WORLD!

During a summer drought that devastated area farmers, Chris put himself in a tractor and broadcasted from for DAYS until he reached his goal of raising over $103,900.00 for the struggling agriculture industry.  He ended up raising closer to half a million dollars.	Chris is shown here arm wrestling with Justin, the "Champion child" for the Stollery Children's Hospital Radiothon.  As strong and as healthy as Justin looks, he passed away of cancer a few short months after this photograph.  Justin's motto was "Don't give up".
When Mad Cow disease was detected in one single Alberta cow, the US shut down the whole border to Alberta beef.  This was devastating to the beef industry.  To protest, Chris launched a convoy from Edmonton to one of the busiest Canada-US border crossings in Western Canada, in Coutts, Alberta.	The convoy titled "The Run To The Border" garnered international attention. Below, is Chris enjoying the BBQ he organized in Coutts.  Chris not only loves Alberta beef, but LARGE hamburgers! (see blow)  Edmonton's country music star Adam Gregory performed for all who attended.

Chris described to me once what he calls "The Finding Nemo Factor" of entertaining the masses.

Finding Nemo was a HUGE box office BLOWOUT!  Why?  One reasoning (Chris'), is because the movie DIDN'T OFFEND ANYONE.  I'm not suggesting that you try not to offend ANYONE. Besides, you can never make EVERYBODY happy.  What I am getting at is, if you want the most people possible to hear and read what you have to say, don't simply push a large majority away, just because of some of the language you use to get your point across.

Also, using profanity limits your opportunities.   Later, you may decide to forward your blog to some influential individuals.  They just might want to hire you for something because they were so impressed with what you have written.  Maybe some important people already have stopped by your blog page and STOPPED READING just because of a few words that you have used.  That would be such a shame. 

HERE'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO HIGHLIGHT FROM YOUR BLOG:

"F. OFF" - How about: "GIMME A BREAK!"
"get me the hell off" - (hell isn't that bad but..) How about: "GET - ME - OFF!" (This still gets the point across that you're mad)

"The final kick in the a**" - How about: "The final kick in the pants."

"...have to have something so incredibly sh*tty like this to happen" - How about: "we have to have something so incredibly terrible like this to happen..."

"Are you f-ing kidding me!!" - How about: "YOU - HAVE - GOT - TO - BE - KIDDING ME, PAL."

".. (mo-fo) kick square in the middle of my a**" - LOL!! I don't know what to say here really, but there has got to be another way of saying that! 

I THOUGHT THESE WERE A MIXTURE OF "FINE TO USE" AND "GREAT!"

- "dude" - This shows you're casual.

- "heading to NOWHERELAND!!"
- "...a bus full of hasbians!"
- "Like Nike says - JUST DO IT!!" - These show your great sense of humour!

- GOD BLESS YOU CITO!! "This shows that you're spiritual and loving in remembering Cito.  A LOT of people will relate.

- I won't stop until I have reached the upper echelons of my life and the sky is the limit as per how far that will take me!! - INSPIRATIONAL! 

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I used to do stand up comedy and eat goldfish on stage.  I'm kidding, That's a lie.  I didn't actually do that.  BUT I DO LOVE TO WATCH COMEDIANS!  As everybody knows, there are many that use profanity, but the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of those comedians that REALLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL, learn to be funny without swearing.  I have the most respect for comedians who do not swear or get laughs by shocking people, because it is A LOT MORE DIFFICULT TO BE FUNNY WITHOUT SHOCK AND CUSS WORDS!  Another way of saying it is "it is A LOT MORE DIFFICULT TO BE FUNNY BY USING THE FINDING NEMO FACTOR or "...by not offending or excluding as many people as possible".

Case in point:

Why did the chicken cross the road?:

A: "To buy an f-in' porn mag.  Hey, chicken's need their piece of... too you know." 

This is funny because you're not expecting it, and it could be reworded to:

 "To buy some pornos.  Hey chicken's need their fair share too!"

 ...but this is not as funny.  Why?  Because this is SHOCK related.  If you're going to go for SHOCK, you might as well go alllllll the way.. BUT! (and like I said earlier this a BIG one) You can come up with ALTOGETHER DIFFERENT ANSWERS, THAT ARE REALLY FUNNY, that will not offend the majority of people.

Examples:

Why did the chicken cross the road?:

JERRY SEINFELD'S ANSWER (Who is a CHAMPION of the "FINDING NEMO FACTOR"): Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?

DARWIN'S ANSWER: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. 

EINSTEIN'S ANSWER: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. 

PLATO'S ANSWER: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE'S ANSWER: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX'S ANSWER: It was a historical inevitability.

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THOSE ANSWERS ARE HILLARIOUS!  and I think they are more humourous than the cussing / shock factor one.

Swearing and going for shock is easier.  For example, just by bringing up the following will get a rise out of people:
 
Diarrhea / Gonarrhea
Mo-Fo this or that
Anything toilet humour
Anything sexual humour

Ever since my friend Chris explained his "Finding Nemo Factor" to me I've abided by it, and I've put everything that I've done to try and entertain people with, through a filter first.  That filter is this question:  "Is this okay for my WHOLE FAMILY to see, including my three year old son, young nieces and nephews, AND MY GRANDMOTHER?"  If the answer is no, I won't go there.

MY POINT ON PROFANITY: Using it limits the amount of people who will listen to what you have to say and it limits your opportunities.

Just something to think about.

Best wishes,

Ian Sterling