IANSTERLING.COM - Ian's Cancer Story

MY CANCER STORY
Ian Sterling - October 27, 2008 - mail@iansterling.com - Word count: 3643

My cancer story seems to start like every other young adult’s. I didn’t see it coming! It came as a shock! Call it ignorance if you will, but I thought the way you get cancer before your old age was one of three ways; genetically, through your environment or lifestyle. The only X factor that I considered were those who unfortunately, seemed prone to health problems from birth.

I think everybody has a relative that has died of cancer, so to think that you may die later in life of it is sort of natural, but for it to hit me so young!? I was lucky to have grown up in a healthy environment, not near a mine or a place with high air or water pollution, and I’ve lived a healthy lifestyle with a relatively good diet, regular exercise and no addictions. I have since learned that the X factor is just that, the unknown consideration. It still bugs me today that no one can tell me why my body developed cancer at this stage in my life.

My upbringing was like most middle class boys with school, sports, running through my neighbourhood in ninja outfits… I joined Sea Cadets, got into DJ’ing and ended up getting into the radio business. My wife, Nathalie and I moved from Ontario to Alberta so I could work for a radio station in Edmonton. We were far from family, but life was good! We brought a little boy named Troy into the world when I was 29. In my 30^th year, my Uncle John, who’s like a dad to me, developed Lymphoma and I wanted to do something to show him support and help in some way. I read a story in the newspaper about a Dad named Gord, whose toddler Kali was diagnosed with Leukemia. He set up a successful head shaving fundraiser for cancer research at his workplace, Canada Post, the year before and he was looking to expand on that idea. I called him up and with the support of the radio station I was working for; we beat the world record for most heads shaved in a 24-hour period with a total of 721 shaves at West Edmonton Mall. We raised $218,278 for the Kids With Cancer Society and Make-A-Wish Foundation. (www.iansterling.com/hair_massacre) I was among the 721 who shaved their head.

About a year later, my Uncle John was thankfully in remission. I had been going to the gym regularly for about 6 months and was eating healthier than ever as well. Life and cancer how I perceived it changed after I visited the dentist. The lady who was cleaning my teeth was flossing pretty hard and she cut my gums right between my two front teeth. I’m not going to start a career showing my pearly whites for a living, but I do take pretty good care of my teeth. If I were to start to bleed in the back of my gums, I would’ve understood a bit, but right up front?! Anyway, I didn’t have any cavities, so I left.

The bleeding started up again shortly after and it wouldn’t stop. When I thought I got it under control, I went to bed and woke up to blood all over my pillow. I put pressure on it and kept my mouth open for a while to get it to stop again, but once I got to my workplace, someone said “Oh my god! It looks like somebody punched you in the mouth!” I couldn’t go and talk on the air and spew blood all over the equipment, so I told my boss that someone had to cover for me so I could get my gums fixed.

Really upset with what that dental hygienist did to me, I drove back to the dental office, and the head dentist there cauterized my cut (similar to soldering). He then suggested that I visit my doctor and get my blood checked to make sure everything was okay. I didn’t know what that meant, but I did go directly to my family physician and told him that I wanted a physical done right away. He said that he couldn’t do one at that moment, but that I could get my blood work part of it done immediately at a clinic. So I did, and then went to work to do my off-air duties.

That night, my young doctor phoned me late in the evening. I thought it was really strange, considering these family doctors work 9 to 5. He sounded really unsure of himself and told me that my blood work came back and that I had to go directly to the hospital, not to put it off until the morning, but to go right away. He said that he called the hospital to let them know that I was on the way and mentioned that they were expecting me. I asked him why I needed to go immediately, and he said, “Just go”. It was apparent that he didn’t want to give me the news over the phone. I told him, look; I can handle it, whatever it is, just tell me what you think it is? He took a while to answer, then said Leukemia.

I ended the conversation with him, asked a friend down the block to stay with my son Troy and went with my then distraught wife to the hospital. I was concerned, but not jumping to conclusions, telling myself “I asked the doctor, what do you THINK it is. So my thought was “he THOUGHT it was Leukemia”. This could all just be a misunderstanding. I’m in the best shape of my life and I’ve been eating really well.”

When I got to the hospital, I checked in and sat with my wife along with the rest of the people in emerge, until a nurse came out with a concerned look on her face saying that I shouldn’t be with the general public, and then handed me a mask and took me to corner area where it was just Nathalie and I. That’s when it struck me that this was serious business. After several hours of waiting, I decided to call my Uncle John. Lymphoma is a cancer of the blood like Leukemia, and my Aunt Joanie, his wife, is a nurse. I wanted to know what they made of all of this. When I woke him up in the middle of the night, his genuine concern and care about my well being brought me to tears. He reassured me and reaffirmed my thoughts that this could all be just precautionary and something other than Leukemia.

When I was checked in to a solitary room, both Nathalie and I were very tired from being up so late and emotionally shaken. It turned out, the family doctor was right, I developed Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. The type that more than the majority of the time the time, affects kids. Ironically, it’s the same cancer that Kali fought and whose Dad, Gord, Mom Tammy and I helped to raise so much money to fight by shaving heads at West Edmonton Mall!

I was admitted into the hospital and they immediately put a PICC line (peripherally inserted central catheter) in my arm. A more permanent, special IV that goes into the arm and passes through a vein to a major blood vessel near your heart. Connections hang outside of your body to easily put in chemo and have it disperse throughout your body quickly. I knew that I was going to lose my hair, so I decided instead of waiting for it to fall out, I was going to shave it first. I’ve never been bald because I liked the look of it. The first time I shaved my head was for kids with cancer and my uncle and the second was for my own battle. I felt like I was taking on the fight, being proactive and aggressive in beating it. Not letting it get me first.

I think in my induction week I received more chemo than I had blood. In my fight, I think I’ve experienced all of the symptoms that they talk about with chemotherapy including bouts of vomiting, resulting in not being able to keep food down for 5 days, restlessness, sleeplessness, chronic tiredness, diarrhea, constipation, headaches, pains, blurred vision etc, but I am an eternal optimist. Even when one doctor said that my chance of surviving was less than 30 percent, I reinforced a positive outlook for myself. Sure, I’ve had moments when I’m sad, like when thinking about how I may miss seeing my son grow up to be a man, but I always remind myself that I should be thankful for an amazing life that I’ve lived so far. That, like everyone in this world, I will die, but that I’m not dead yet, and that I’m extremely lucky to be a Canadian with great health care. I’m a spiritual person who relates closest to the Catholic religion and I believe that there is even a positive in death! (The afterlife) Having that as a foundation can help tremendously, but I find the best way to heal a soul is through love from one another. I have been blessed with incredibly supportive friends and family. Instead of recounting my last almost 2 years of chemo including radiation treatments, I’ll focus now on the enlightening stories.

When I was diagnosed, one of the first people to come see me was the General Manager of the Radio Station I worked for, Doug Rutherford. He wrote a staff memo explaining my situation and in it, he wrote this:

“A member of the Corus Radio family is in a tough spot. In the time I spent with Ian and Natalie on the weekend, their resolve to stare down this condition and move by it, is unshakeable. Our support of our friend and colleague is also unshakeable. If prayer is your choice, then pray for Ian, Natalie and their young son, Troy. This is a condition that Ian will overcome. Let’s make sure that Ian and Natalie know that it isn’t just one family fighting a medical battle. It is every family at Corus Radio Edmonton who will rise up in support of our friend.”

Everyone’s heard that in times of difficulty, you find out truly who your friends are. That is so true. Some of my friends didn’t seem sure what to say or do and I got the feeling that they felt a bit uncomfortable talking about my situation, but I know it wasn’t because they didn’t care. I’ve never been someone who asks for things from people, because I’ve always been of the mindset that everyone has their own difficulties to deal with, but I’ve learned that in times of trouble, when those who reached out to you and in ways like this:

“If you need anything please call us anytime. A break from the dog or a babysitter or a trip to the store, anything.” - Nicole, Jim & Nico.

Sometimes it’s best to suck it up and accept a gracious offer.

One of the reasons why I married my wife almost 10 years ago was because she’s a fighter and I felt that we could get through anything together. Well, we really tested out vows of through thick and thin and in sickness and in health. From countless trips to the hospital, organizing elaborate schedules of when to take prescription medicine, to emotional turmoil and shaving her head to show support for me, she’s really been a best friend, companion and confidant. It’s true that when you’re in a relationship with someone, and one person become seriously ill, it can be just as difficult for the patient as for the care giver.

Although there was over 3000 kilometers between us, my Mom, Step Dad, Father, Sister and Parents-In-Law came to help in many ways including with meals, watching our son and really what is all encompassing of just being there.

I have realized that support and love come in so many ways. My Doctors told me that should I need a blood transplant, that there would be a 25% chance that a blood sibling would be a match. My parents only had two kids, and I’ll never forget how my sister, who has always been there for me, called to tell me that somehow, the odds were beaten and that our blood was identical. That was really a special day.

During the middle of winter in Edmonton with –30 degree daytime high days, although my sister she really couldn’t afford it, she really put herself out there for me again and bought me an amazing treadmill to help me at least keep up comfortable walk for exercise.

I won’t say who my health insurance company is, but I will explain my feeling about these businesses in general. I think that if they were to sum up their business plan in two ways it would be:

#1. Collect as much money as possible while selling “peace of mind.”

#2. When anyone starts collecting, try by all means necessary to stop paying.

In the end, this is just good business sense, but it can be quite frustrating when the mountain loads of often hard to understand paperwork roll in, in attempts to get out of helping someone obviously in need of financial support because of a health issue that is really deserving of compensation. Because of the delay in my benefits coverage kicking in, my lack of a good nest egg of cash available, this lead to my wife and I being concerned about paying our mortgage and bills. The next thing that happened, I will cherish as a truly moving gesture. It was when my Aunt Chris, together with other members of my family, set up a bank account that my wife and I could withdraw from to help us. Here’s how she explained it:

”As I said to you Ian, this is the family's small way of trying to help
you get better. The last thing an ill person needs is any financial
worries.”

My wife and I are happy to say that we did not make any withdrawals, with the exception of a generous offer to help us fly back east. However, we will always remember what it meant to us to have it there and the thoughts behind it.

I want to say at this point that I’m not a professional writer, and that I really don’t know exactly what my friend Darren, who initiated this book, wanted me to write. I do know that I didn’t want this cancer story to be depressing or come across as just how wonderful people have been to me, although I will always be grateful. I want for the most part, to share some great stories about ways that could maybe help someone else. Maybe some of my positive experiences can turn into ideas. I know there are days when coping is all that can be done in a day. There are a lot of people who get that, and who can interpret inspirational ways to deal with stress and hardship better than I can, and I was lucky enough to work for a radio station with amazing listeners who offered incredible kind words of encouragement to me that I hope maybe you can take to heart as well. They include:

"Keep your chin up and always think positive, even when thinking positive doesn't seem possible. With good thoughts and great support I believe anything is possible, if you just believe in yourself, the process, and the steps in getting there." - Tammy B.

"Keep up the fight… That's half the battle. I was also a cancer patient and at the age of 27 the doctors gave me about 6 months to live. I am now 64 with grandchildren and am still around and healthy." - Marylin B.

"I sincerely hope that you beat this thing for good. I know what it's like to be facing a serious illness and how overwhelming it can be at times. ...I hope that you will continue to live life to the fullest, because I am sure that you now appreciate the time that you have here on earth more than you ever have before. I am also trying to live my life with passion and purpose, and even though I have been given dire predictions about what is in store for me health wise, I try not to let this get me down and I refuse to give up my dream of working as a missionary nurse in a clinic for the poor in Central America. I hope that you will continue to seek out your dreams and that you will take this time while you are recovering as an opportunity to spend time with those you love, and take steps to move towards passions and dreams. May god bless you in your life, in your family, and may you continue to move
back towards health!" - Jean A.

"I was diagnosed (with cancer) in Dec. 1999...I would like to pass on what helped me: Enjoy your good days... do remember to laugh; it is amazing how it can really help the soul. As well, embrace your bad days, for this is when your strength is tested, and most of all, do not be afraid to let the tears drop. They are there for a reason." - Ann J.

"Subject: Vibes from another survivor! ...My motto was, cry when you have to and laugh as much as you can, come to think of it, it still is my motto! ...I can say in all honesty, that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train.
Love N Hugs" - Vicki B.

"Hang in there! Positive attitude (not always easy), lots of support from friends, family and even your dog if you have one is the best medicine to help you mentally and physically deal with this scary disease (have been through it 3X and I'm a happy 60 yr old who enjoys life to the fullest - went swimming with the dolphins before Xmas, went parasailing 1 year ago and I'm ready for more!)" - P. Robert

I think it’s safe to say that most young adults just feel like they’re going to die an old man or woman. I know I did. If there’s anything positive about having to deal with a life threatening illness like this at this stage in life, it’s that it reinforces what’s important, and that’s family and friends.

“At the end of your life, you will never regret not having past one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with
(family and friends).” – Barbara Bush

I’ve since moved back to my hometown of London, Ontario. My sister, Anne signed up a team for the Canadian Cancer Society’s Relay For Life fundraiser. I took part in it at a time when I was down 50 lbs. of muscle due to chemo. There was a person driving a cart behind the walkers for the first lap around the track to make sure everyone made it okay. I was not only the last person around the track, but the guy in the cart, passed me because I was so slow!

I still have a few months of chemotherapy to go, but I’ve spent every visit to the hospital with a family member, I’m thrilled to say that I am in remission, may be returning to work soon and striving forward!

I hope that what I’ve written can be of benefit to you in some way.

Be kind and be well,